My Life Story

I saw Apple make something like this, and I figured I would too.  I didn't know whether to put this in the Intro section or this section, but I figured it isn't an intro, it is a story about my life, so I should put it here.  Warning: It might be a bit long.


I went to a daycare where I would always be accidentally stealing stuff. I would put a toy in my pockets so I would have them when I wanted them. I was always somehow getting hurt or hurting others at that daycare, not because I didn't like them, they were accidents and I would always go off to a corner or something by myself and like cry for 10 minutes because I felt so bad about hurting people. :lol!: 


I was held back 1 year before Kindergarten because my sister was held back 1 year before her Kindergarten year because she was afraid of the teacher, and my mom thought it needed to be fair. :lol!:   In Kindergarten, I had 1 friend who lived about a block away from me that I spent a lot of time with, and I made a couple more friends, but none lasting friendships. 


1st through 4th grade was a hard time for me.  I was bullied about many things, including being overweight, stuttering when I speak, not being able to word things well, being shy, having weird hair, and other things.  Because of these things, I had very few friends.  Some people heard others making fun of me and joined in because they thought it would make them cool or something, and some people just ignored me.  I was afraid to approach people because I thought they would make fun of me just like everyone else.  I was never mean back, I never made fun of them.  I just held all the anger and hate inside me.  That is how I started baseball.

I started baseball as a stress release.  I would throw the ball as hard as I could to get the anger and frustration out.  After a couple years of doing this, I was getting quite good at pitching.  by 3rd grade, I could throw the ball quite hard for my age, and I was pretty accurate.  Now I can throw the ball as hard as 80 mph, and I have 3 different pitches, the fastball, curveball, and I have a pretty good knuckleball. 


In 3rd and 4th grade, the bullying was getting bad enough that baseball wasn't getting rid of the anger.  I still wasn't letting that anger out on people, though.  I would just hold it in.  At one point in 4th grade, I snapped.  By about 7 seconds, I had broken someone's nose and bruised someone's arm pretty bad.  I was really fat, but I was also strong.  They stopped for a few weeks, but then started back at the bullying once they saw how upset I was with myself for hurting someone.  They continued the bullying because they knew that I wouldn't hurt them. 


4th grade was the worst year of my life so far, and I hope that I will never have that bad of a year again.  The bullying was at an all time low.  In 4th grade they added acne to the list of stuff to make fun of me about.  Also, it no longer was just at school that I was getting bullied.  On the Internet I was getting bullied, too.  When I hurt my elbow bad enough that I had to take about a month off from baseball, I had nowhere to escape the bullying.  I had attempted suicide then.  I had considered it, and a couple times was about to do it, in the past, but I had never gone that far.  Until then.  Until then, my parents never found out about the bullying, and they never knew that I was carrying anger with me al the time, so they never talked with me about it or could provide support for me.  After I was recovered from attempting suicide, I told them everything that was going on.  They brought me out of that school and my mom began homeschooling me.  I am still being homeschooled now, I am don't really want to go back to a public or private school. 


Being homeschooled aloud me time to talk with my mom about everything going on, and she has been able to support me a lot.  The bullying still continues in church, but not very often.  The leaders in my church's Youth Group have been great at helping me through the hard times.  There is one leader named there named Jay Rockensock that has gone through all I have, and he has been in 11 foster families, he has been abused from 7 different people, some sexually and some non-sexually, he ran away from 3 of the families because of multiple reasons, and a whole lot more bad stuff has happened to him.  When I think of how bad my life has been, I try to remember him, with how much he has been through in his life, and with how successful he is now.  I cannot even begin to imagine what I would have done to myself if he had not stepped into my life and helped me through the crap my life has brought me. 


Minecraft has been something that I can totally forget reality while playing.  Oasis has helped me with many things in my life.  I would like to thank all of you for being so nice and friendly towards me, but I would like to specifically thank Ripstik_Warrior.  Rip, after hearing about the true you, I would like to say thank you.  Thank you for showing me that I am not the only one going through this stuff, thank you for having the courage to go through all of that and still be here, thank you for countless other things.  I don't think you know how much inspiration you have given me.  I have been able to go through being bullied with almost happiness.  Happiness that I have not been given a life as messed up as yours.  If I were given the life that you have, I would most likely have committed suicide in a way that is guaranteed to kill me.


I would also like to say a specific thank you to Amber.  Thank you for being there, for being willing to hear what I have to say, and to give me advice on how to deal with some stuff.  Thank you for encouraging me in everything and thank you for your willingness to listen to my stories and thank you for the encouragement you have provided for me.  


That is all I have time for right now. I might add more to it later, but right now I have to get to bed.  Thanks for reading!

4emersons wrote:not being able to word things well

In our American society I'm bewildered as to how that can be a cause to bully anyone, I look at the grammar and sentence fluency of some of my best friends, and I want to throw up.


Back on topic I suppose, congratulations to you and to all around you for getting through tough times, can't say I have ever had to go through crap like you have, but I can empathize. All the potatoes in the world to you!

And one itty bitty carrot

Ben remember every life is important. During my depression some days I felt like life was never going to go good, I would never see the light at the end of the pitch black tunnel, but I held onto hope never giving up on the ideals in life. Don't ever give up on life hold to your truth and ideals and make sure that light after the tunnel is clearly there.

Okay I'm done with the poet talk, I am still bullied today but I take it and turn it around to where it doesn't hurt me it burns the bully a bit to keep them away. No weights on my shoulders will weigh me down through life, and't be afraid to be unique. (Okay I lied I like poet talk though)